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Secret to a happy marriage: Get angry
Saturday August 04, 2012 08:18:44 PM,
IANS
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London: In a marriage,
forgive and forget are probably a thing of the past, and getting
angry could be the best way to solve relationship problems, a
psychologist has found.
James McNulty, associate professor at the University of Tennessee,
found that forgiving may actually build up resentment, the Daily
Mail reported.
The "short-term discomfort of an angry but honest conversation"
can actually benefit the health of a relationship in the long
term, he said.
McNulty found that forgiveness in marriage can have some
unintended negative effects.
"We all experience a time in a relationship in which a partner
transgresses against us in some way. For example, a partner may be
financially irresponsible, unfaithful, or unsupportive," he said.
"When these events occur, we must decide whether we should be
angry and hold onto that anger, or forgive," McNulty said.
Anger can serve an important role in signalling to a transgressing
partner that the offensive behaviour is not acceptable.
However, he said there was no single answer to the problem.
There is no "magic bullet", no single way to think or behave in a
relationship, he said.
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